8.13.2013
Regret, Love, Memories & Forging Ahead
I lost touch with a great friend when I was in my early 20's. I miss him. I miss not having been a part of his life for the past 10-13 years. I miss not being there for him in the best of times or during the bleakest of times. Similarly, I miss the prospect of him sharing those same moments for me.
Please don't misunderstand- I am not lamenting because I don't find these qualities elsewhere- I'm simply pained by the regret of letting someone go because I was too immature and myopic about life. My own insecurities and selfishness was an impediment to me seeing that there was more to life than brooding and self loathing.
I love my wife without end. I have family and friends who would quite literally do anything for me. My life is pretty darn good. I have zero complaints. I do, however, regret letting go of not only a great man, but letting go of a family that treated me as their own. I'm sure I caused hurt, or at the very least a little bit of consternation. I would like to apologize for my immaturity; though how?
As a 20 year old I'm sure I was selfish. That's sort of a right of passage for high school grads, twenty-something's, and other young adults. Not making excuses, but it seems to happen to everyone.
Maybe someday I will find a way to re-join his life. It'd be great to spend time together again and enjoy each others company. I'd love our wives to meet, and someday for our kids to do that as well.
I'm not giving up hope, I'm not quitting, Instead I'll just let things happen... and when/ if an opportunity presents itself I'll not miss it.
Peace
AM Son
7.26.2013
Musings
I will brighten that grey news with this:
I've met 4 of our 5 neighbors immediately surrounding our home! We've lived here for about a year and a half now and (mostly via walking Pepper) I've had the pleasure to meet dozens of friendly, welcoming people all around our neighborhood. As expected, some are more outgoing and chatty than others. But overall I get a nice sense of community and good faith from those around us.
It comes in stark contrast to the way I'm sometimes treated at work. By and large, the people I come into contact with at work are respectful and polite, if not sometimes a bit standoffish. It's ok though, being reserved and not overly chummy shall not be conflated with snobbery and/or disrespect. However, some of the characters I come into contact with (an all too frequent)on a regular basis; whether through email, in person, or via the internet can be downright crass, elitist, and infuriating in their displays of rudeness, entitlement, and brashness.
The dichotomy is- in a way- comforting. Thank you to my friendly neighbors!
------
Written while listening to, "Shallows Low" by Matthew Good (Lights of Endangered Species)
7.17.2013
Weather (Again)
Otherwise, there isn't much going on these days. I've been catching up on some "stuff I've missed" over the past several months:
-Mass Effect 2- a classic sci-fi game that I didn't fully get into a few years ago when it was released. I'm glad I found it now, as it offers a great mix of classic cult sci-fi feel and epic story with charm, technical prowess, and character to burn! Due to summer schedule, I haven't played in a week or so, but when I get some time again I will be sure to jump right back in to enjoyment...
-Star Trek: TNG- I was 10 years old or so when this show was on air, and though I was never bitten by this bug back in the day, I'm sure glad I "discovered" it now! Though I still haven't come around to the original series, I've been magnetized to TNG! Really anxious to continue the enjoyment I've gained from watching this classic series, as well as move on to other iterations of the Trek universe.
That's all for now... but I do plan to be back more regularly now... I hope!
Peace
AM Son
5.02.2013
Spring?
Where is spring? Where is the rain? Where is the dreary, endless gray that we all know as "spring time"?
I'm frustrated, it seems we're in the midst of another year of weather that makes my job and life miserable... The type of weather that most normal people can't get enough of. The kind of weather poets write about....
Come on spring, help us out a little.... Please!?
1.17.2013
Emotive
My blog is titled, "the form of function" and its tagline states, "my soul is shaped by life, this is what it looks like..." What this means is somewhat convoluted and pedantic. Due to that, I'll try to summarize what I like to think of is the essence of my blog:
-form and function- the idea that shape/ style/ substance may be different from purpose and scope.
-many times these ideas work harmoniously, and many times they are at odds.
-my philosophy is that form should always follow function (however, I did not dream up this theory!).
-this philosophy dates to the early 20th century and the early years of modern architecture.
-Frank lloyd Wright popularized this idea that form shall follow function.
-however, the originator of this idea was Louis Sullivan- the father of the skyscraper.
So, what does this mean?
So, why is this relevant?
So... I bet you're asking whey I'm doing this?
Here you go...
-I've always believed that any design or plan takes its shape from the function with which the plan was born or intended.
-form, style, shape, substance, color, size, etc. shall be dictated by the intended purpose (or function) of the idea, product, etc.
-in short, work well first and look good second.
-as it pertains to me, I define function as the things that I do, the things that I see, the things that I hear, the things that I feel, the people I love and hate and meet, the places I go, the experiences I have, etc.
-as it pertains to me, I define form as who I am and what I feel and what I think and what I believe and what I stand for.
-as it pertains to me, I define my soul as my FORM and my experiences as my FUNCTION
-the function of my life is what creates my form.
-my soul follows my function because it is created BY it
-therefore, my soul is shaped by my function
-therefore, my souls shape and color and size and essence takes its design cues from my function
-therefore, "my soul is shaped by life, this is what it looks like..." is my way of stating: this is who I am, and these writings are the roadmap through which I've created my soul...
Every so often it seems that something comes along and forces your soul to the forefront- a display of soul more evocative and stronger than the phrase, "wearing emotions on your sleeve" can describe. A moment where you literally break down and can't help by show how you feel about something. Weather it be immense happiness shown through a large grin, or incredible pain that comes out as a scream or a groan. Sometimes it simply comes out as tears and raw emotion...
This type of thing happened to me recently, and it came in a quite unexpected form and in a very unexpected outburst. To put it simply, I broke down in sobbing tears when I read this:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/01/john_dickerson_on_parenting_returning_to_your_children_after_16_months_on.html
I don't know if you will have the same reaction about this as I did. It's not relevant. What happened to me as I was reading this story was pure, it was real, it was beautiful, and to keep it relevant to what I've written above- it was my soul eeking out from my body. It was my soul being shaped by my life and my function. My soul's shape in those few moments took the form of tears and yearning and sadness and hope and awe and so many other emotions...
Why?
I want to be there. I want to be a great man. I want to be in the moment and be there for my wife and my kids and my family and my friends. I want to recognize what all those special people need from me. I want to be better. I want to live for more than just myself.
John Dickerson. He's on my list of my "8 Favorite People of all Time" (ok... a story for another day)! This is precisely the reason why he's on the list.
Go read the article. It may not have the same effect on you as it did me. That's ok- if it does not, go find something entirely your own that draws the shape of your soul. Go out and let your function shape your soul...
11.23.2012
The Kings have Clashed!

Book 2 is completed! On to Book 3! This book was much like positioning your pieces on a chess board. Though there was plenty of action at points, this volume was much more focused on set-up of the conflict and the minutiae of the setting/ set-up. Big things do happen however, so it's not as if it was a sleeper. The intrigue is building...
From what I've heard from my wife and Crossbow, A Storm of Swords is maybe the best of the 5!
We shall see...
[Man, this sucker is heavy (920pgs.)!]
11.20.2012
Meet Pepper!
Being totally black, she's difficult to get good photos of. And, as a puppy, she never sits still!
Pepper, Pepper-Jack, Pepperoni, Pepsid, Ghost Pepper, are just a few of the nicknames we throw around.
8.20.2012
Preseason Football
The Patriots 2nd preseason game is tonight. Very excited. Very intrigued. Yep, it'll be second stringers and "laboratory football" for a few hours, but I don't care...
IT"S FOOTBALL SEASON!
7.22.2012
Onto "A Clash of Kings"
I finished "A Game of Thrones" this morning. The book, not the television show... although I can't wait for that too!
This book was phenomenal. I'm not going to try to describe the plot, setting, characters, story, writing style, or my enthusiasm for the novel... it's too pedantic for this blog. Rather than slog down that road, I'll state my feelings as such:
Go read this book!
It's long-ish. It's addictive! It's scary and fun and thrilling. It's sexy and mysterious and violent and saccharine at times. It's extremely detailed and well thought out. It's dark and dreamy and doesn't treat you (the reader) like an idiot.
Go read this book! Thank you, Mr. Martin!
Can't wait for the rest...
Peace
AM Son
7.06.2012
Mount Up
So, I'm back... I think... maybe... we shall see!
So much has happened in my life in the past 2+ years- I'll shy from recapping everything like a sports highlight show... All that is important to know as of now is this:
I love my wife more than anything! I am as happy as I could ever hope to be! My life is wonderful...
I'm sure this will come through in the blog, and I can't wait to get started...
Peace
AM Son
2.18.2010
U.S. National Debt Clock : Real Time
Definitely worth a look, especially if we're to have a serious intelligent discussion of the economic landscape.
Seeya,
AM Son
Posted using ShareThis
Economic Scene - Success of Stimulus Bill Is Noteworthy as Another Is Weighed - NYTimes.com
I'm no economist or mathemitician. Heck, I don't even handle our bills and checkbook- Em does that since she works at the bank. But I think I know a level headed article about our "situation" when I read one. The NYTimes article linked above is a good objective judgment about the economic state of our nation.
If you've been paying attention to news, media, etc over the past several months, you would know that President Obama is taking considerable heat for the lack of progress in healing our wounded economy. To be fair, I should admit that I voted for Obama- and I'm still extremely glad that I did. I don't want to heap too much praise upon him just yet- I'll wait for history to determine weather or not he was a successful leader- but what I do want to be capable of is allowing the situation to play out without rushing to judgment.
This article keeps my pulse rate and blood pressure right where it should be- elevated due to concern, but stable and not in need of worry. If I were to listen to and read most of the off the cuff reactionary shouting out there, I may need to visit the ER. (I'm talking to you Sarah Palin, Tea Pary-ists, and conservative radio pundits)
The article lays out some basic elements of the situation- hopefully it has the same effect on you that it did on me.
Take care,
AM Son
Posted using ShareThis
2.01.2010
I'm back... sort of!
President Obama and the White House released the proposed 2011 budget today, which can be found here. Here, here, & here (from all sides) are a few useful links which analyze the proposal. What are your thoughts, what do you think Congress will do with it? Obviously, without reading the entire budget it is difficult to discern right/ wrong, good/ bad, spend/ save and the interests that may or not be driving the proposal.
Seeya,
AM Son
4.20.2009
As Golfing Season Rolls Into Town...
I hope that's sooner rather than later.
Take care,
AM Son
2.22.2009
Zakaria Always a Voice of Reason
Note: I'm a biased Fareed Zakaria fan, but I still cannot help but view the current economic situation in similar terms as he. We must be deliberate, strong, and wise- not hasty, reactionary, and accusatory.
Peace
AM Son
2.20.2009
Credit Crisis Explained
Here it is, all layed out and simplified...
Peace
AM Son
1.22.2009
Welcome President Obama!
We have a new President... and that makes me very happy! Congratulations President Obama!
Peace
AM Son
1.18.2009
Disappointment? Are you crazy?
Question: And I'm not trying to play "gotcha," but I wonder, when you look back over the long arc of your presidency, do you think, in retrospect, that you have made any mistakes? And if so, what is the single biggest mistake that you may have made?
Answer: There have been disappointments. Abu Ghraib obviously was a huge disappointment during the presidency. Not having weapons of mass destruction was a significant disappointment. I don't know if you want to call those mistakes or not, but they were -- things didn't go according to plan, let's put it that way.
So wait. Let me get this straight. He thinks it was a "disappointment" that Saddam didn't have any WMD's? A disappointment? Are you kidding me?
So, if I'm understanding this phrasing and direction of thought, George W. Bush- one of the most powerful men in the free world- would rather have found out that one of the most cruel and savage dictators of our time had the means with which to kill many millions of innocent people with one push of a button? Is that right? Bush would have been comforted to know that there were WMD's in Iraq? Ok, I get it... I get it now... it's all clear to me now: he's disappointed that he had no good reason for war. The fact that they weren't there upsets him- he's disappointed. In other words, the WMD's were a means to an end... haha, silly me, and I thought the war was because of the WMD's.
There's only one way to perceive this information...
You, Mr. President, are the disappointment!
(2 more days...)
Peace
AM Son
1.13.2009
Moyers speaks with Leo Gerard
Bill Moyers, one of my favorite journalists, sits down with Leo Gerard- president of the United Steelworkers (USW). This is a very good interview, with information that I tend to agree with overall. And to boot, Gerard comes through with one of the most powerful uses of antimetabole/ chiasmus I've ever heard!
those people were prepared to bail out the people who had to shower before they went to work, but didn't give a damn about the people who had to shower after work
Gerard has a great "listenable" quality about him. Weather it's due to his cool Canadien accent or his patient and affable demeanor, he is pleasant to listen to and not overly confrontational or condescending.
Hopefully there isn't too much to chew on here- I know it's a lot of video watching.
Take care and Peace
AM Son
1.07.2009
(the obligatory) Best Of '08
Best Music/ Album/ CD of 2008
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="200" caption="For Emma, Forever Ago"]
This was an easy pick for me, which is unusual because I normally don't settle on one album very easily. The irony of this pick is that the album was released in 2007 by an independent label and then re-released in February 2008 "to the masses". After several listens I pretty much had decided that it would take an opus from a contender to knock this album from the spot of my favorite of 2008.
And that album is:
For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver
This unknown artist took me completely by surprise last winter. I had heard several clips of these songs through the All Songs Considered Blog written by Bob Boilen at NPR, but until I downloaded the complete album I could have no idea how this collection of finely crafted songs could impact my musical palette.
To generalize, it's folk music, but it's a whole hell of a lot more than that. There's a haunting aspect of the songs and their feel. There's ephemeral moments that I wish would last forever, and at times the lyrics are sung in such a way and with such harmony with the music that I'm almost moved to tears. No matter how many times I hear these individual moments or the disc as a whole, it never affects me any less. Bon Iver runs the gamut of emotions here, from soaring moments of seeming exaltation to clear pain and suffering.
This is a lovely album, a powerful album, and a collection that should be heard by all!
Go see the Metacritic entry for this album.
Runners Up for Album of the Year: (in no special order)
Atmosphere- "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold"
Slug & Ant are back, with another solid hip-hop album- this one about being a father... complete with nursery chimes and electric steel slide guitars! Yep!
John Mellencamp- "Life, Death, Love, Freedom"
Mellencamp is quality. He's an honest, emotional, and gifted songwriter and storyteller- definitely one of the greatest rockers of all time, and this album helps that claim.
Conor Oberst- "Conor Oberst"
His first album minus the "Bright Eyes" moniker. This is a great romp- with fun singalongs, terrific melodies, and fun chorus'.
My Morning Jacket- "Evil Urges"
The Peanut Butter Pudding Surprise does not work perfectly well, but it doesn't fall on its face either. The bearded and long haired boys are back and just as musical and energetic as ever.
Okkervil River- "The Stand Ins"
A new artist to me, these literate songsmiths are adept musicians and lyricists. Great melody, fierce satire, and rocking rock songs!
The Mountain Goats- "Heretic Pride"
Another more-than-solid effort from John Darnielle (& Co.) that returns the subtle lyricism and gentle guitars that have made them (him) so good for so long!
Best TV Series of the Year (not necessarily aired in 2008, but I watched it in 2008)
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="360" caption="The Wire"]
The Wire (HBO)
This show has left a mark upon me. It's tainted how I perceive every other television show I watch- quite frankly, nothing else compares. It's sad that this show is over, because it was powerful, deep, well acted, intense, well written, inspiring, thought provoking, and so much more...
I don't know if there's ever been a villain TV character that has garnered as much love as Omar Little. I don't know how much more polarizing a guy like Jimmy McNulty could ever be- sometimes he was loved, and most of the time he was despised by all of those around him (including the audience). Detective Lester Freamon was a likable guy, one who I think most viewers respected and rooted for. Even supporting characters were front and center most of the time- with just as powerful and important roles as the "stars". I could go on and on... but with this show, "all the pieces matter"!
If you like good television, watch this show!! I'm not a fan of crime dramas and I don't watch much actual TV, but this show hooked me from the start. So sad that it has to be over...
Runners Up for Best TV Series of the year (in no particular order)
Totally Rad Show- (free downoad from Revision 3 or on iTunes) It's 3 totally rad dudes who review movies, videogames, tv, and comics. Hilarious, intelligent, informative, and well produced! If not for The Wire, this could very well have won the top spot- despite the fact that it's not a "true TV show"!
Fareed Zakaria GPS- a new show on CNN (also available in podcast form) that involves host Fareed Zakaria interviewing politicians both foreign and domestic. He includes roundtable discussions that reflect a worldly view of politics and global affairs. I like Mr. Zakaria, he's a tremendous scholar and more than adequate interviewer.
Firefly- can't believe I missed this show a few years back. It's "sci-fi meets western". It's almost perfect- with great dialogue, cool sci-fi effects and great atmosphere. There are well done and well reasoned action scenes, great characters, and an interesting and easy to follow storyline.
Best Book of 2008
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="249" caption="The Post American World"]
(I have a confession to make- as far as book reading went, it was a slow year for me in 2008. I only read 3 full books. I think I spent a lot of time paying attention and reading about the election, the economic crisis, preparing myself to say good riddance to GW, and also played more video games this fall than usual...)
The Post American World by Fareed Zakaria
By no means am I an expert on foreign relations, foreign economic policy, globalization, emerging national powers, or history. But I will state this- Fareed Zakaria is brilliant! In this amazing book, he lays out the foundation for what this planet will look and feel like once American domination in world affairs plateaus or recedes. His anecdotes and explanations are surprisingly tangible, informative, interesting, and powerful. He knows his stuff- that's for damn sure. And he knows how to convey this new way of thinking in a digestible manner. I know one thing, America better get itself together or China, India, Brazil, and others are more than ready to take our place as preeminent world power. (Note: Zakaria makes this list twice, the only person/ thing that can claim such status this year!!)
Runners Up for Best Book of 2008
The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama
Weather you're for or against Obama, this is a worthy and insightful look into him as a person as well as a politician. (Read my review from late 2008)
Moyers On Democracy by Bill Moyers
Bill Moyers is one of my favorite and most respected political/ social commentators. His book is a collection of speeches and addresses he's given over the years- and while it is very good, it can tend to be a bit repetitive. Very good!
Hot, Flat, & Crowded by Thomas Friedman (I haven't read this yet, but Friedman is one of my favorite authors and columnists, so I'd be surprised if this book were to disappoint me.)
Best Podcast(s) of 2008 (No clear Winner for'08)
I listen to many podcasts each week, and the simplest way to judge my favorites seems to be to select those which I "skip" the least. In other words, some days I find myself not necessarily wanting to listen to a particular show. I've listed those from my listening routine that I skip the least...
Slate's Political Gabfest- Emily Bazelon, John Dickeson, and David Plotz do a terrific job of summarizing the previous weeks political news. There's always good insight, intelligent humor, great discussion and argument, and even lighthearted "cocktail chatter"!
NPR's All Songs Considered- I love NPR. Bob Boilen is a great music commentator. They play great new music. What more is there to like!?
Xbox Live's Major Nelson Radio- Larry Hyrb (gamertag: Major Nelson) works for Microsoft on the Xbox Live team. He shares weekly updates and information about Xbox games and news. Perfect!
NPR's It's All Politics- Ken Rudin and Ron Elving talk about the week's political news. It's humorous, short, and well informed. Must not miss!
FORA.tv Audio Program of the Week- Fora.tv is a great sight to watch seminars, speeches, panel discussions and other educational events from such institutions as The Brookings Institution, Hoover Institution, and C-SPAN. I'm always pleasantly surprised by what I can learn here...
On The Media- A program from radio station WNYC that offers great news and information from the world of media- such as reports on how media affects society, how it is consumed and delivered, as well as discussions of past, present, and future media relations and anecdotes. Oh, "and edited by Brooke..."
Best Movie of 2008
(Another disclaimer: I don't watch a lot of movies. I didn't watch many in 2008 that were actually released in 2008. Because of this, I'm going to list two movies- neither was necessarily released in 2008. Sorry.)
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The Visitor"]
The Visitor- a good story about 3 strangers who live together and become friends despite the fact that 2 of them have a secret... (I'm not interested in spoiling) It's a story filled with emotion and uplifting feelings.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="338" caption="Outsourced"]
Outsourced- a story about a telephone product salesman who finds that his job has been outsourced. He is sent to India to train his replacements and finds more than he expected in this foreign land. I loved this movie- it seemed to be an accurate representation of the situation and India in general. A very warm film with many appealing qualities.
Best Video Game of 2008
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="280" caption="Fable II"]
Fable II- a fun adventure/ RPG game that has you assume the role of a small boy in search of the evil that killed his sister. Your actions matter- the way you communicate and interact with people and the world all have an affect on the way the game plays out. In the end, to be good or to be evil isn't the only question however... it's more about how to achieve your goals while balancing that good/ evil perception. Fun, deep, and engrossing, there wasn't another game in 2008 that engulfed me quite like Fable II. It's not perfect- I wish there was a more in depth communication method with fellow citizens and your family, and I wish the story didn't feel so short. In the end however, the positives outweigh the negatives by a long shot here.
Runners Up for Best Video Game of 2008
Call of Duty: World at War- this game could have won the award, but the story mode just wasn't as engrossing as I would have liked. The very strong multiplayer has kept this game in my tray for a long while now.
Little Big Planet- if I told you that in 2008 a platform game a la Mario or Zelda would make my list for best games of the year, you'd probably think I was in some sort of time warp. Well, there's no time warp, but yes a "platformer" made this list. Little Big Planet is revolutionary, it's going to change the gaming landscape in so many ways... believe it! And Sack Boy is so damn cute!
Grand Theft Auto IV- probably the most highly anticipated game in a long time, and it did a fairly good job of living up to the hype. At the end of the day however, I just get sick of the stupid driving, chasing, and racing missions. Isn't there any other way to unfurl the story...? You listening Rockstar?
Dead Space- a newcomer to the games lineup, this was a great surprise for many gamers in '08. Survival Horror isn't quite my thing, so it loses points there, but it's a very well executed game that tells a very compelling story.
MLB '08: The Show- there isn't a sports game that compares to the MLB: The Show series. It's got realistic simulation down almost flawlessly, and does so many things that stand out. If it weren't for the fact that my interest for sports games ebbs and flows with the relevant season, this game may have taken top honors.
So there ya have it- my favorites of '08!
Let me know if you agree or disagree, or if you want to have a conversation about it all.
Thanks for reading...
Peace
AM Son

